How To Maintain Healthy Stress Today And Why
What is your why? What is your reason for doing what you do, for slogging your guts out, for the tears you shed and the weight you lose (or gain—shout out to my emotional eaters), for the wretched state of your adrenal glands and the nights you spend awake for no reason—just tired and wired from stress I guess?
I’ve noticed that anyone not doing anything worth a damn, is pretty relaxed. I’ve been that someone, I come from a family of those someones. And that’s not to say there aren’t negative side effects that go with such an unfulfilling lifestyle—chronic boredom leading to drama creation leading to chronic anger and abuse leading to addiction leading to isolation leading to depression leading to further isolation and boredom and drama. On and on it goes for those (loved ones) I’ve seen with no heading, no navigation, no greater goal than to make the week’s rent, through some means or someone else.
Conversely, there are those that are driven by fear—fear of failing their loved ones, or falling behind, or turning into their parents. I’ve been that someone too. Its like running an inescapable circuit with a vacuous beast that doesn’t sleep or tire or ever satisfies it’s hunger, no matter how many bites it takes out of you.
It takes an enormous effort of will to bring yourself out of either state. And most people never do, I think. With the payoff being what it is, I can understand why.
When you strike a balance, and live in equilibrium—doing something worthwhile, pushing yourself and loading on healthy stress—the payoff is that you live under that state of gentle pressure until you either accomplish what you set out to, and reap those rewards, or give in.
Ever been free diving? Maybe you played that game as a kid, where you swim down to gather weights from the bottom of the pool. I was always afraid of the water, especially the ocean, but I loved diving into the deep end of the pool to fetch those colourful tubes that pointed to the surface so you could pluck them up like underwater flowers.
When you get down there, you notice a pressure. It’s against all of you, not pushing you one way or another, just squeezing. Life is like that. Just passive life. Being underwater is the physical representation of the sum of your responsibilities squeezing you ever so softly.
The pursuit of a dream, if it be a worthwhile dream, is like that pressure, only you’re not a couple metres down—you’re at a hundred below, its less bright, and dangerous things that you can’t quite make out harass you while you’re trying to build a beautiful home on the reef. There is constant pressure and threats from unseen places, but the reef is colourful, your ideal home is underway, and you have a unique sense of rightness—of purpose—that you cannot feel any other way. This feeling is one of life’s greatest gifts.
Of course, you don’t receive this gift unless you’re deep down in the water.
The squeeze will, over time, strengthen you. Like Aquaman’s Atlantians, being in the Depths evolves us, flushes out our weaknesses—so we can overcome or succumb—it is endurance training that makes the pressure of life feel like walking on the moon.
Healthy stress is a foreign concept to most people. Stress is stress right? You don’t want stress, you want the good life, the relaxed life. Right?
No.
Stress has three distinct levels;
- Under-stress: Also known as the comfort zone—what you feel in rest and digest mode. The body and mind are in no danger, there is nothing to want for, therefore there is no need to exert any outward force.
But outward force is also called motion, projection, kinesis—action. Action is the antithesis of depression, lethargy, unmotivation. Being under-stressed means you have no reason to do more than drink tea and gaze out the window. Life is good. And generally unfulfilling. We know where that leads.
- Over-stress: Pretty self-explanatory. You are wired constantly, anxiety ridden, possibly sleep deprived, you are in BURNOUT territory and your adrenal glands are going to kill you. Literally.
A constant state of over-stress is worse that under-stress, but only in terms of time left to live. Your body is being destroyed by increased heart and respiratory rate, high blood pressure, and unhealthy levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Not to mention your mental wellbeing.
While you lose years to over-stress, you live long and unprosperous in under-stress.
The ideal middle ground for the true life-liver is…
- Healthy stress: A balanced state of pressure that you opt in for of your own volition. It is not a tennis match of under-stress to over-stress, where you are the ball being belted from one side of the court to another. Its riding the line of a manageable workload and quality downtime.
Here’s how you find that sweet spot of healthy stress right now;
- Set your own deadlines, and stick to them. Don’t make them too far out that you have time to procrastinate. Trial and error to find your pace.
- Take regular breaks during your work and find the sky. Be outside for 10 minutes every hour you work to refresh your nervous system and your mind. Move and stretch your body while you’re up. Bonus points for bare feet on the grass or dirt.
- Play. If you can make your work a game and maintain productivity, great! Regardless, find a way to play during the day. Whether that’s keeping score of paper-balls thrown into the bin from the three point line, or throwing a stick for your dog on your breaks, it doesn’t matter: all work and no play makes Jack likely to quit.
- Take on projects that scare you. This is an important one. If you don’t push yourself, you will never be better than you are. Nuff said.
- Drop what you don’t need. I could do a whole article on this. Say no to shit you don’t get excited about, to people who suck your energy, to events that drain your time and money and again, energy. You have limited reserves, where do you want to spend them? This also goes for personal items. Are you cluttering your space with crap? An easy rule to get started is: if you find something you haven’t thought about in 6 months, and its not immediately useful, get rid of it. A good resource to help train yourself is Marie Kondo (www.konmari.com), and the documentary Minimalism—A Documentary About The Important Things.
- Sleep. For fuck’s sake sleep 8 hours a day. Stop trying to cut corners and sleep less to get more time. Eight hours is the tax you pay for a healthy, productive day.
- Take naps. 20 minutes is all you need to get an extra 3-5 great hours. You can also just lie down in a dark, quiet space with your eyes closed for 20 and benefit.
- Meditate. Train your mind to be in the present moment. Its a simple practice, and ten minutes in the morning is all you need to ‘win the day’ as Tim Ferriss says. There are many forms of meditation. Don’t make it complicated—find an easy style online that suits you and stick to it every damn day. I do a vipassana body scan and its always interesting what I notice.
- Exercise. Hard but short. You don’t need to get a gym membership, just do a bodyweight workout that makes you lose your breath and feel your muscles. 20-30 minutes a day is the best investment you’ll make for your health and energy supply. Also, if you start to like it, you can push your physical limits as practice for pushing your personal and professional limits. There’s definitely a knock-on effect there as well. So, move that ass.
Finally, hold yourself accountable. You are in charge of your own life. Your feelings, your reactions, your career, your relationships (your 50%), your physical and mental health, your stress level—are your responsibility. Keep your word, to yourself and others. Push yourself to get done what you need to get done, just make sure you’ve left plenty of room for the healthy practices, and the playtime that you earn. Noone is going to gift wrap you an easy win, and if they do, you don’t deserve it. Nor do you want it—there is a special pleasure to be got from building something from the ground up.
Realize your enormous potential. You can’t do it from the comfort zone.